So my husband was getting ready for work and heard about the attack. Well the hell breaking loose.…
So my husband was getting ready for work and heard about the attack. Well the hell breaking loose. War always upsets us both, but it really shook him this time. He came back in our room and i saw the look in his eyes and almost broke. I held myself together though as he kissed me professing all his love for me again and again, admitting how completely tareffied he is. At that point i couldnt let myself break. Hes trying to be brave for me and the baby, but if i broke so would he. While it stands out to me that it is part of human nature to hurt and hate, it still upsets me that people get torn away from eachother by things like this. We agreed with eachother something weve always silently agreed. That no matter what we arent going to get torn apart. No matter how bad it gets were staying by eachothers sides. By our childs side.
Right before he left for work, telling me he still felt sick to his stomach because of this. He asked me a single question, did i think that this is the end?
My answer wasnt premediated. Its the honest truth of what i feel. And theres two parts to it.
One: its far from it. At most, if it gets bad, itll only be a thinning.
(I know that sounds really bad, but i dont belive in anyone dying before theyre supposed to)
Two: If this was the end i know for a fact that a new life wouldnt be brought into it.
(Regardless of what i belive in compared to everyone else i belive this to be true with all my heart and soul)
That seemed to calm him down enough to go to work. Even though he was still trembling walking through the door, because he knew thats all hed hear about at work today.
"Im scared," He said, "But i love you, and thats enough to make me be brave"
None of us are strong. We all break at some point in life. Right now is the time to break, but be brave and push through it. Well all make it, no matter what happens well all make it. So just find a way to smile through it all.
(This was both a vent and an attempt at encouragement and comfort to everyone. All of it is completely true. To those who read to this point, thank you for being there. Most importantly though lets stay brave and smiling for our little ones.)
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Its so sad to see that we have to go through this. My cousins father its out there and was scared to tell my cousin about it. 😕 My best friend is out around there with her kids and her husband and he's serving for us as well. I pray for them two so much and also for all other troops. I hate war. I hate violence. 😕
Bethany Swaney·
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@js_kidsmom War is unessary i agree. I dont watch the news for reasons like this. Its depressing. I heard about this on here but decided not to tell him right away. But as always he seems to have a keen sense of these things and looked it up this morning, leading to this. Its hard to stay brave and strong when i see him like that, but knowing he looks to me for strength i cant afford to let myself break. Even when hes not around because i know hell feel it.
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Yea he needs to be in a good mind set. I cried too when I heard it. I didn't want to watch the news my cousin sent me the link and I just started crying. One of my cousins just graduated too so he can be sent out when ever they finish his training. Its so scary.
Bethany Swaney·
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@js_kidsmom well me and my husband agreed that hes not going anywhere. Even if they try to draft him. I refuse to let him go, and he refuses to go. I know it sounds selfish, but why should we be seperated over something that neither of us wanted? Again i know a selfish question, but its true. Why should people be torn apart over other peoples rivalerys, that almost always start over greed or just the "need" to hurt someone?
I know ill get alot of hate for what i just said, but its true. We have one wish and one wish only, and well do anything to fufill that wish. That wish is to stay be eachothers sides, and our childs side no matter what happens until the very end. We are one family that refuses to let other peoples unessary conflicts tear us apart.
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I have to agree. Why should anyone be separated for something that isn't their choice.
Bethany Swaney·
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@js_kidsmom unfortantly it happens. People get pulled into these things, because the people that start it make the ones involved feel like its nessary. Im not hating on tge armed forces or veterns. Two of my own father figures are vets and i respect them completely. But even my Col has said before that war is never for the reason the government gives. And the PTSD is from having to follow orders that you later see are wrong. He said that you dont realize until its happened that the person you just shot couldve had so much in common with you, that you couldve sat down and talked and been friends. Instead your ordered to kill or be killed all over a fake reason. Yet you dont put down your gun out of fear once you realize the other side has been told a simular story. Granted my Col was an Air Force pilot, but he still experinced these things. Even he refuses to be drafted back out. For multiple reasons, but his most elaborated reason is because his oath was to protect the people not the government. He said hed stay home and protect his family.
I was in highschool then, but when he said that it made me think about how id feel if i found the right person like i have now, and they got taken away from me over someone elses conflict. I decided right then that i wasnt going to let that person go no matter what happened. No matter how selfish it seemed. Because like this conflict, it isnt something we voted to have. It was our government deciding to pull the trigger over reasons that well never fully be aware of.
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Wow that is a verry verry good way of putting it. I've always thought similar. I hope you both keep your head up.
Bethany Swaney·
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@js_kidsmom we will. I hope everyone else here does the same. I live by a simple rule. Maybe in a time like this it should be known. "Live everyday, day by day living it to the fullest. Most of all never do anything that you feel in your heart is wrong."
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Amen.