I hate feeling depressed. I can't let son's dad know I am feeling depressed because he will want me…

I hate feeling depressed. I can't let son's dad know I am feeling depressed because he will want me send my son to him in Texas. I cannot be without my kids. I keep trying not feel depressed but it doesn't change. I ask myself almost everyday what I was thinking of having another baby alone without a father. I love my daughter so much. I just wish things were different and I wasn't doing everything alone and I had a supportive person with me.