Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I think it's funny that all my exs want to come back into my life when they find out I had a baby and I'm engaged

Ladies I called my insurance about breast pump and they said with their insurance in order to get a pump I get a prescription from doctor then I call 3 different numbers to see what my insurance covers but the only thing is I have to wait til baby is born to call and get pump so I want to at least buy a hand pump which do you ladies recommend for hand pump and when I can get a pump from insurance please n thank you 💖💖

Motherhood ripped from me again...

I went for my Anatomy Scan on Friday @ 20wks. I went in expecting to find out if my baby is a boy or girl, but came out feeling like I'm going to die.