So, maybe there's another channel to post this, but I've never learned how to maneuver this app and I apologize if it'd annoying to some to have to re-read similar things...

My daughter is now 6 weeks and 4 days old; we both had traumatic experiences at labor and birth, and my sweetness and I didn't even get to meet one another until 30+ hours after birth. I had to be completely knocked out as I could still feel most things occurring inside my left abdomen during my emergency cesarean and was screaming bloody murder about it 😲 the things you pray won't happen that actually do add to a new moms confusion, frustration and depression, bt on a supremely higher level.

Anyhow, I've not been pumping religiously, as far as I'm concerned, for me, it's simply impossible to be able to pump every 2 to 3 hours with a newborn and so far within the 1st near 7 weeks. My daughter was either needing to be held or fed, which NICU got her on the bottle and I had no control over it since I was barely making droplets, maybe 3 or 4 the 1st 4 days and less than a half ounce by the beginnin of week 2, so she needed to eat! And 1 of her conditions for leaving NICU was being able to consume 2 ounces of formula in less than 30 mins, which she managed maybe a handful of times out of 8 to 12 feedings a day. She actually lost 11% of her birth weight by the end of 9 days!

Anyhow, this new mother thing is anything but easy, it's super hard but I know some mom's either take to motherhood easier or their situations are different to where they'd say something along the lines of, "I don't know what she's complaining about, I had no such problems!"

Similar to how ive heard and read countless times throughout my pregnancy different women saying they didn't feel a thing during their laboring and how they don't think screaming is appropriate because "it's not that bad!"

Um... YEAH, it is! Even though I had to land an emergency cesarean, I labored 19 hours of which 11 had been without ANY pain relief whatsoever!!! The screams just came out of me with each contraction as if they were part of the deal! I couldn't breathe, every 45 seconds I could gather myself up enough to say, "oh God! Here it comes again!" And just like projectile vomit, the screaming came out of me just as domineering and merciless as the contractions.

Anyhow, I'm completely single and on my own. Every once in a while my mother might try to help me out, but more often than not she's making my emotional self frustrated to where I feel more helped with her just staying away and letting me go back to myself. Things are very difficult. Though my baby will be 7 weeks this coming Sunday, I just BARELY got her enrolled in her own Medi-Cal because there'd been some B.S. that kept me from being able to do it on the phone and everytime I'd call their self service line it'd reject or rewind it's automated message after each and every time I'd try entering the information it'd request from me.

So, my milk is failing and it's got me where a feather could probably tip my scales from partial sanity over to some mega baby blues, if not a hibernating post partum depression...

I'm pumping as best I can manage while still holding my daughter as much as I see is necessary especially as there are no other humans to offer holding her against themselves to offer her the release of necessary hormones to help her develop as well as release the necessary hormones from skin to skin touch-- it's ALL on me! And most likely I'll not be learning the magic of double breast pumping along with holding my daughter.

I've purchased milk thistle as well as fenugreek herbs for oral consumption to help aid in increasing my milk supply. I try to eat oatmeal at least 1x a day. I do drink water ALL day long, and for weeks now, maybe 3ish, I cannot get my breasts to pump out more than basically 1/3 of 1 half ounce on each side!! I add a tiny drop of filtered water to help release the milk droplets that'll stick to the sides of my pumping bottles even, I've incrwased my pump between 7-9 on its pressure valve yet I'll still get no more milk coming out. I don't know if that means it's just not coming out or if it's truly not being created anymore.

I'm VERY depressed about this tho I don't let myself think about it as anyone might imagine-- I try to block it out a good deal each and everyday so as to not have emotional interference with my milks production.

I need help from my fellow mom's about this matter most dearly and sincerely!

If milk is still being created, though it's decreased, is it still possible to regrow what I think has been lost?! Has any mom out there been in my situation and been able to regrow/increase her milk after a couple weeks of decrease?

PLEASE let me know what any of you have experienced and please let me know all of what you have or had done, even if folk beliefs, even if folk magic, even if based solely on faith, I know all we do as organisms can be enhanced by the powers of our minds, I'm on board with that 😉

So, please let me know!

I'm in Los Angeles County, also, in case maybe anyone would rather text? Or I have a couple instant messaging apps, as well as email if it makes it easier for anyone? Can we private message in Mom.Life? If so, message me there and I'll share that info of mine with anyone willing to help me about this and even to potentially keep in touch.

Thanks for everyone's time!

Sincerely,

Whittle Baby Shannon's Mommy,
Kristen 🦄