Yes, its bc I'm so so scared to get more attached to him/her for fear of losing my baby

Some women don't feel that connection or bond right away. For some it takes days, week, even months, for that bond to really form, same as meeting anyone new. Doesn't mean you don't love the baby or care for him, but that it just takes a while to bond.

I never felt it was real til the very end of my pregnancy and then I went over my due date and totally lost all excitement. It'll change when you see him. Then a couple days after I got home from the hospital I got really depressed and anxious and dreaded when he cried and was like omg is this my life lol. He's 9 days old and I feel much better today than I have the last 3 days. Stuff about pregnancy and motherhood people don't really talk about