When you are in recovery from a severe Heroin addiction and one of your childhood/teenage friend overdosed and passes…

When you are in recovery from a severe Heroin addiction and one of your childhood/teenage friend overdosed and passes away on New Years Day, my whole world has been turned upside down. After a long shower because little one is finally sleeping, I got to think a lot and I broke down again. So many things going through my head and going back to his FB and see how one day he was himself and the last 6 months of posts are depressing and a cry for help, I question a lot. He was clean for awhile and his wife cheated on him 6 months into their marriage. She even left him alone New Years Eve to go to a party. It's like why is she still here and he's not??!! So many questions left unanswered. And the messed up part is that they aren't allowing anyone to say their goodbyes or share their memories or give him one last hug. It's a private service which I think is selfish. So many people love you John Fly High 😇💙