Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

I broke down at my moms house today ... because of the debt we owe and Passover is coming and it’s a very expensive holiday ... it was just way too much .... my mom i guess told my brother that I’m suffering and he called me over and asked me why i didn’t just ask for help, and offered to help when i need it . And gave me basically 4K to help for the month and if i need more to ask ... now one thing about me , is that i will suffer silently and won’t ask for help.... I’ve always been that way. ...

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

So now that I have my test strips when do I start testing! I am on day 2 of af today and it lasts about 3-4 days normally. I have about a 26-27 day cycle. Any help would be very appreciated thank you!!😀

I need advice 😣 what do I do as a prize for my diaper raffle? I'm having a coed shower so it has to be gender neutral.