My birth plan was that I wanted to go as natural as possible. No epidural, strictly breastfeeding, no pitocin. I wanted a natural birth.
5 hours of contractions went by and I decided I couldn't take the pain anymore. I was begging my fiancé to kill me. I couldn't stand, I couldn't breathe. I had to get the epidural.
After that the nurse told me I wasn't dilating fast enough. I had been stuck at 3cm for hours on end. They had to start me on pitocin to get my body working again. After I finally gave birth to my son, no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn't latch on to me. He would reject me and just cry. The nurses tried helping but he just didn't want it. So naturally, the nurses said, you have to feed him formula so he has food in his system. I was devastated. He wouldn't latch into me for almost a month. And by the time he got used to my nipple, I was almost dried out... I've had people talk to me about how I should've hung on a little longer to get the epidural. That I could've avoided the pitocin. I've had people tell me I'm not trying hard enough to breastfeed.
All I know is, I did what was best for me and my child. My baby is happy. He is healthy. I am happy. I am healthy. I appreciate tips on how to raise my kid but don't tell me how to do it. I strongly believe that I am the best mom I could be for my child.
#stopmomshaming
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@ellamas, what matters now is you and your baby are healthy and happy! We need to stop dwelling on the past and what we should've done and focus on how blessed we are to have our babies with us 💕
Girl I totally understand you!!! I just posted something because I too wanted to share how I feel. I wanted to breastfeed and have my child vaginal birth but I was stuck at 3cm for hours and only got to open up to 5cm when the doctor comes in and starts explaining the risks of a c-section. Baby was already stressed in there and heartbeat was going down because baby wanted to come out and I wasn't opening . I cried. No matter how thankful I am that my baby is healthy I blame myself too. Maybe if I didn't get the epidural I would have had a vaginal birth.
@mxvii.980, thank you so much. I learned to just ignore people. My son is so happy and I wouldn't change anything. :)
Girl dont listen to anyone.. You did what was best for your baby and if your baby didnt wanna latch on it was probably for a reason. I formula feed my baby since day 1 and i dont regret it . i tried breastfeeding but he wouldnt latch either and ive had Moms telling me that i should of just breastfeed but honestly i just ignore them because at the end of the day thats my baby and i can do w.e i want whether i chose to formula fees him or not.
@jaxxmommie22, when people told me breastfeeding was hard, I didn't think it would be this hard :/
My son was the same way when I tried to breastfeed. He just wouldn't latch on I tried everything.😔
Yes I had felt guilty the first few weeks and felt like a failure to my child but your right. We have so much to be thankful for . @itsjasmine