I bring up having a baby shower

My mom says its not gonna happen

I bring up that I'll maybe just have a small one at a restaurant with just me and a few friends. It's my first pregnancy ..

Now I'm prideful and wouldn't have shit for my babies if it wasn't for her.. If I wanted a babyshower I should have just said something.

I'm feel so defeated, I miss having my own place, it's making me regret being pregnant because I would still be living alone in another state, away from her. Something has to change because Im not myself anymore, I'm just bitter as hell. I'm starting to hate everyone and everything. I want to be able to work and get away. I just feel trapped.