I swear my anxiety has been the WORST since yesterday and I really can't figure out why 😣😣

I have 3 kids now. My new one is 5 weeks old. I never felt depression or anxiety before with my other kids. I feel I am entering ppd because some real scary things and thoughts are coming to my head. After two weeks of trying to figure out why am I feeling this way I think it all comes to lack of sleep or at least I think so. My appetite has gone crazy and I eat more than when I was pregnant. I have a happy married life. Don't understand why I feel this way. I have the healthy beautiful child I dreamed of. I stay at home and my husband works two jobs. This feelings only come to me when my husband is not at home. I feel safe when he is home. When he Is not home I get paranoid and have an anxiety attack. Hey! I know the feeling. If you ever feel like taking to someone even over the phone I am here. It kind of weird to talk about how I feel to my family or friends because I'm afraid they will think I'm crazy when I talk about PPD. Sometimes in the middle of the night when the hubby is working and I get this feelings I wish I could talk to someone but I can't. My friends will think I'm crazy.

@adrianamead, that's exactly how I feel! I know exactly how it is! sometimes I feel that way when we go on family trips and go to a place I haven't been before. I don't know why but I just want it to stop. and today is seems I can't even smile even though I try. I'm a nurse with my dream job. my married life is amazing no stress at home and my kids are wonderful but I dk why I still feel worthless.

Having someone to talk to helps. I told my husband they way I feel and the stuff that goes over my head when he is not home The anxiety and everything. He listens and supports me. Makes me feel better when I talk about it with someone. For the past 5 weeks I have been on 3 hours of sleep a day. So i am super sleep deprived. In fact I think I have gone from sleep deprivation level to zombie level. And I am so paranoid about having my house dirty lol that when baby sleeps, all I want to do is clean the house , dust and what not. It almost seems I'm still nesting. Finally I have been forcing myself to sleep during the day and it's amazing how much healthier my mind is after sleep. It's very scary. I used to be one of the people who laughed at depression or PPD. Well... It is real. And it happens. I haven't been diagnosed but I feel I am suffering from Postpartum anxiaty. A horrible fear that I will not be a good mom or I might hurt my baby accidentally or the fear of sleeping and not waking up if she needs me because I'm so dam tired. The main thought I have is I don't want t hurt my baby but what if I do because I'm s exhausted that I might not be aware. I think this whole thing started one night that I was so tired that I picked my baby up from her crib and I brought her to my bed to breastfeed because I couldn't stay awake in the rocking chair and was afraid she would roll off my arms. Then while nursing her in my bed I fell asleep and my body relaxed and my whole boob came over her face. I woke up a few minutes , maybe seconds later idk and I saw this and for a moment I though she was dead. I moved her around and she wasn't responding much. My heart dropped. Then she finally moved. Life came back to me. That was the 5 day after birth. From that day on I became paranoid and anxious and forced myself not to sleep so I wouldn't hurt her. But I was in fact making it worse. The more sleep deprived I became the more scary flashes came to my head like me being so tired that I would drop my baby on the floor. Or I would suffocate her while breastfeeding. Etcetera. OMG so scary. I am doing better with sleep. Still I will check in with my Dr on my 6 week appt. don't feel alone. You are never alone. We are with you. Again, if you ever need to talk t someone wen you fee this way even if it's in the middle of the night I am here to listen. We are here to help each other for the well being of our little angels :)!

Omg and I am the same way about family trips. Are you getting enough sleep?

Can I ask you a question? How can you tell you had PPD and not anxiety How can one tell the difference. How do I know. Have one and not the other.

Oh girl that's terrible. your not going to hurt your baby girl it's just how we over react to situations especially if your a first time mama. I was like that with my first but I was also 17. thank you so much for the support I am here for you as well.

I do get sleep but I feel like I don't sleep well I toss and turn I can wake up from sleeping 9 hours and still be drained.

anxiety I've always had that seen teenage years but post partum normally comes up after giving birth.. anxiety happens out of nowhere even if you have no kids at all. in certain situations you'll feel super anxious, sweaty palms , dizziness, fear of fainting, you wanna be in the dark and alone, you fear things, etc