I'm not sure if I'm going though postpartum depression or just filled with emotions and hormones but I've been feeling SO overwhelmed lately. I just had my beautiful son 8 days ago and am in so much pain but haven't a choice but to be moving around so I feel like I'm not recovering well. I feel horrible for not being able to breastfeed my baby. My milk is the best for him and I just don't know how to do it! I've tried pumping and it's not working. I see the milk and it's flowing but the pump only pumps one drop per suction and filling up an ounce takes 30 painful minutes. The hospital I went to provided horrible care and didn't teach me a thing. I can't sleep because I'm constantly worried about the baby and if he's breathing, comfortable, and happy😞. On top of that I got a job but believe I missed out on the opportunity because I couldn't do the drug test on time. The dang thing expired a few hours before I got to the place and I didn't know I had to do it before a certain time, and not day. I'm so frustrated. I just want to be able to provide for my baby and things keep getting in my way. I'm in school and missed a week of assignments due to the birth and him being in the NICU for so long. Everything is falling apart and I feel like I have no control anymore. I know baby boy comes first but yesterday I really understood what that meant. I can't just get up and go anymore. Ugh😞😭. I feel like I'm failing him and I've only had him for a week. I just keep crying and crying and I don't know what to do. My entire body is different. I don't feel sexy or even like a woman anymore. My boobs used to be one of my favorite physical features and now I'm just different. Going back to pre baby weight but u have a weird fat pouch☹. I'm so happy I have my baby but I'm so unhappy with how I've been feeling about myself lately.