@loveless, right, his sister is the youngest, and she is 32. It seems crazy to think of them having to start over. And his sister doesn't recognize me as part of the family, so no way is she even being considered. My twin brother clearly doesn't want kids, and my younger brother and his wife do want kids. They seem to be the logical choice, but hubby doesn't see it that way.

my husband and I recently talked about this, we decided my sister would be best. she's younger, she either doesn't want or is not likely to have her own children, and we know she'd absolutely raise our daughter with all the love in world. at first my husband suggested his parents but I protested mostly because they are nearly done raising all their children (they have a 15 year-old) and it wouldn't feel right to place that on them but also their perception is pretty set- not adaptable that goes with age as well as their views and how they'd raise our daughter are different and these are all factors. ideally would be to have someone most similar to us.

@emileemoreland, I agree, age over location.

But we do live about as far away as we could in the same country. Hawaii to Boston, so he would be, as my husband puts it, shipped away to a totally strange place with people he isn't used to.

I would hate to put a burden like that on people in their 60/70s, or worse, something happens to them too. Then he has had to have to deal with so much death. My brother and his wife don't have kids yet, but plan on it, so they will be in the mindset of raising kids.

@babyrossmommy, @emileemoreland - We've been working through it. We live in Hawaii, close to his parents, far from my family. He thinks it should be his parents and I think it should be my brother and his wife. We each have valid points. He wants him to stay with what he is familiar with. I think it would be better to go with someone younger.