the baby's dad wants to have my baby stay the night at his house. I'm sorry but no. I will not let my baby stay the…

Is the father a drug abuser, alcoholic, extremely irresponsible?

@arivera64, not necessarily..he's mentioned he'd smoke weed if he was asleep. and idk if he'd drink while the baby is there.. but even if he didn't I still don't want him staying the night there. he's mentioned the reason he doesn't get up in the middle of the night while he's sleeping is he doesn't hear him. so why would I let the baby stay there. why isn't him spending the day with him enough.

@arivera64, -not hearing him cry in the middle of the night if he is hungry

I doubt he'd sleep thru a crying baby. Maybe while he was with you because he didn't want to help. If he's asking for the time and he's being a father, yes i do think it's wrong. If there is no custody agreement in place, he has the right to take his son whenever he wants. If you see him unfit to have the baby overnight you'd better go to court before he takes you.

Does he spend time with your son at all now? If your gut feeling is telling you no then don't let your baby stay the night. You're his mommy you know him better then anymore and know what's best for him ☺️

My husband doesn't wake up in the night if the baby is crying...even if the baby is right next to him. He doesn't even hear him. I know he doesn't do it on purpose but yeah. I wouldn't let my babies stay the night with anyone until at least a year. depending on where you are, the father may not have any rights at all so you do make the calls until rights are set. I do agree with pp. you should go to court now if you feel you have reason enough to prove he is unfit or should not have legal custody. (there is a difference between physical and legal custody) Maybe do a mediation before going that far... just to try what you can to build a co-parenting relationship with him. You guys have a long road in front of you and take it from me.... it's not easy.

i dont feel your wrong i told my baby father the same thing we have to wait until she's sleeping through the night bc he is a hard sleeper also

Just speaking from experience you don't have to let him have the baby over night if you don't feel comfortable with it. When I left my ex I was being nice and let him take our daughter over night and well he didn't give her back for 3 weeks! So unless you know for a fact that he will give you your child back then I wouldn't. And if you go to court more than likely a judge won't give him over night visits until he is a year old. I don't feel like you are in the wrong, even if he wants to be in his child's life but that's just my opinion.

@breee87, currently trying to serve him papers and he just dodges them. but I just seriously I'm not OK with it. until my baby can walk and talk and don't wake up occasionally in the middle of the night. . he's only been home 3 months of his life. I'm just idk.

@jahnessagarcia, If I bring him over he does but honestly he doesn't technically spend time with him the whole time. he has his dad or sister do it so he can do things. idk.

@hayhayes1, I feel like as a mother we have that little something that let's us know when things aren't right! I had that feeling when I let my ex leave with our daughter and sure enough I was right. There isn't a law that will go get your son from his father so you can him back. So just be cautious of that! As long as he is on the birth certificate and yall haven't been to court he isn't doing anything wrong in the laws eyes!

@hayhayes1, then I definitely wouldn't let my child stay the night. I agree with your decision 100%

@breee87, yeah since in trying to serve him they gave me temp custody but I just idk. I am hoping it's not for the wrong reasons. I just really just don't want him staying the night. this past weekend when we were staying over there he was screaming like crazy and he hasn't done that in awhile and we thought we were gonna have to take him to the er again. because we thought his gut was acting up again. like what if something like that happens you know? idk.