Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

So idky I thought we'd have a 16 Week scan 🤦🏽‍♀️ like I was so siked because it's spring break week next week and it would have been my daughter's first time seeing baby! Nope, not until 20 weeks 🙄 lol

So babe and I decided to go ahead and schedule a 3d/4d ultrasound on Saturday! I'm so excited. 1, because since I know it's a boy I kind of want to see a penis for confirmation 😂 and 2nd, because my daughter will actually realize that a baby is really in my tummy 😂😂 (the ultrasound will do it for her...

I WANT MY BABY ! 😡 takes 40 weeks??? Seriously though!!! 😩😫 new date given so now I'm 36w2d

So because I got a cervical check done by a man my S/O says I'm "tampered" with and that's like cheating . wtf

Short Luteal Phase?

I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.