I hate when I can't sleep. I end up just thinking way too much. I miss my brother so much. I wish he…

I hate when I can't sleep. I end up just thinking way too much. I miss my brother so much. I wish he could be here, I wish he had wanted to be here. September 1st it will be a year since he left this world and September 5th I will be the age he died and continue to be older than him. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wish I could have saved you from yourself yet somehow I'm still here after all I've done and your not. You never realize how much your sibling truly are your first best friends, the only people who can truly relate to you, who really experience what you do since day one. I took it for granted and everyday I wish I could take that back, remember more, and everyday part of me feels like I start to forget things and I've never felt more alone. Its funny how a powder took you away from me, drugs stole my brother. And now the only way I can see you is in pictures. my baby will only hear stories about you and probably never truly understand who you were. Idk probably just need to go to bed but I miss you so much today Jordan. I miss you so much everyday 😓