to be quite honest, I'm kinda becoming depressed and I know I shouldn't feel this way and it makes…

Depression is pretty normal honestly. About 15% of women feel that way and it's not because of anything you did, and it doesn't reflect on you as a mom. It just happens to some people, just like some people get worse heartburn or worse sciatica than others. Talk to your doctor, getting an early start on strategies to deal with it can help a lot.

you might feel better after baby