Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Thanks everyone for the prayers unfortunately I don't think there's anything else that can be done

They gave me an epidural and we're just waiting now. They asked if she's born do I wanna hold her until she passes. I don't understand why this is happening. I don't want watch my little girl die. This is unbearable.y heart is breaking my poor baby girl. I'm so sorry baby.

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

Trying to hold out and not stress because I don't want my baby being premature. I want a healthy baby.

What birth controls have worked flawlessly for you?... I don't want anymore kids after my daughter but I don't want to tie my tubes and I am not going to become a born again virgin so I want your best recommendations ladies! Thanks in advance :)