I hate taking Tobias to his father's house...Its like 84 degrees and now he has heat rash...and everytime he wines/crys…

oops at the beginning I was trying to say this has happened for decades to many poor communities especially of color, and often so that the poorer communities wouldn't breed, at this point this is what our mothers mothers were taught and very few pockets of our community are traditional any more.

Yeah, I did notice the father was black and really that is from systematic abuse in our community, we were kept out of schools and disrespected by hospitals and had our old ways and culture thrown away and belittled so now our community is super anti nature in a lot of ways, we are often trying to seem as modern and far from "living in huts" as we can....its ingrained. I have observed it so many times and it is sad but a reality. I would keep bringing up God and why would god create breastmilk that came just as a baby was born if it wasnt a clean and healthy choice? I bet they are Christian, maybe this won't convince them but they can leave you alone. and I bet they won't call you a pervert if you don't bring the baby, or tell the father you wont let his family see the child. like smh I can't stand people who don't get that breasts (like so many other things in life) have many uses. if you are turned on by an infant eating, YOU have the problem!

anyways, sounds like they don't respect you for whatever reason, and unfortunately in this case you've got demand it yourself.

@tahtahme, They think its perverted and that I get a secret satisfaction from having a baby attached to my boobs or constantly pumping so I can have enough milk to go back to work. Or that he's "too big" and I feed him too much. I can't even trust them enough to leave him for an hour.

like I haven't taken my babies to my side of the family, because they were laughing at me when I said I wanted to breastfeed twins and gifted me a ton of formula, which made me uncomfortable. you need to tell them, and if they are mad they can't feed the baby, maybe you can pump but really, its your job to do everything, not theirs, and also the father can occasionally leave his hot ass house and visit you at yours or a neutral location. if your baby isn't small enough to sleep all day, he needs to learn what to do with him. and lastly, if your whole night and day get screwed by visits, you need to put a time limit (ex. "I am leaving at 2:30, we will see you again Sunday at 10.) A 4 hour visit is MORE than enough, its practically overkill, ESPECIALLY since you are the mom and you are the one carting a kid around. its easier to take out 3 adults than 1 baby and your baby's father and his parents should get this.

ok not supporting breastfeeding wtf if people who were already on thin ice did that I would tell them if they don't make me feel 100% comfortable giving my baby food god created for him i wouldn't show up. or better yet, we can stay the 20 min he isn't hungry and then I will leave and go back home where he and I are comfortable so he can eat in peace.

They also dont support breastfeeding and push me to give him a bottle.