Okay ladies. I seriously need your guys help tonight... please help solve this argument between me and my fiance; here it goes: my mom asked me tonight if she can be in the room with me during the birth of her first grandchild. Me and my mom are very close, we are literally all that's left of our family, and all we had growing up... my fiance hates the idea, he doesn't think anyone else should be apart of this very intimate moment. we have argued about it a few times and tonight was our biggest arguement. I kinda want my mom to be there because I know how important it is to her, and I'm not completely opposed to sharing the moment. but my partner doesn't want some one watching him cry, or being there to see the emotional time between us. he also doesn't think it's very traditional for a mother to be in the room anymore... What do you ladies think? how many of you had your mother's in the room?
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my mother nd SO will be in the room....... oh my I would be really upset if my so told me I couldn't have my mother in the room. me&my; mom are really close nd she's my biggest support.. I hope yu guys can come to an agreement...
My mom didn't want to be in the room with me, not that I expected her to wanna be there so that didn't hurt me. But both my husband and I wanted his mom to be there with us to share that experience. She helped make me feel comfortable and make sure I had what I needed. She was both our moral support, and while my husband and I met our daughter she took pictures for us. I can understand why your fiance wouldn't want your mother to be there, but YOU have control of who gets to be in the room with you.
I want my mom and my BF. This is my mother we're talking about. Hellooooo! Only the 2 most important ppl. My sister, mil, daddy everybody else can wait but those 2 definitely! Nobody cares about him crying hell everybody's going to be crying lol. Ur the 1 who's going to be in labor and u should be comfy
*I'm not reading the comments before so sorry if I'm repeating anything* I was dead set against having anyone in the room except my SO the whole pregnancy. when I was in labor my grandma and mom showed up so I let them in while I was laboring but planned to kick them out when it was time to deliver. then my best friend came so same situation I let her in. I ended up laboring for over 50 hours so it was so amazing to have multiple people with me to take turns helping me thru my contractions. (I went natural for 60 hours of labor) when my SO needed a nap my mom came to my bedside and talked me thru the pain. when it came time to push I was just too excited to have my son so I didn't care anymore about kicking people out. my mom was behind my bed, my SO was next to me , my best friend was next to him and my grandma was more in the background to make room for doctors and nurses. once I did get the epidural it was nice to have people help me hold my legs up since I couldn't feel them lol. it was the most amazing experience ever and I'm so happy I was able to share it with so many people I love.
I think you should make a decision on what you feel most comfortable with. I had my mom there while I was having contractions & what not but she stepped out when it was actually pushing time & came back in afterwards. I felt like that was perfect for me because she was able to support me in the moments leading up to it & it really helped me but when it actually came down to meeting our baby I felt like it was just a moment for me & my fiancé to share together . I think it all worked out fine :) but ultimately its your choice momma!
my plan- not to have anyone but my SO in the room with me. what actually happened was my mom and my MIL were in the room and my boyfriends closest friend was in the waiting room. your gonna want the extra support, well I did anyways. I hope you guys come to some sort of a compromise.
I love my Mom and if it's me I'd prefer her to be with me than my husband lol
my mom is going to be in the room with me. he needs to think about the bigger picture here, she is your support system as well plus you're the one having the baby lop
I guess she could be in there while you're having contractions and when it's actually time for the baby to be born, she can go out so it can just be you and your S/O?
yeah I think you should have your mom in the room. as long as you want it since you say you and her are very close. I get that he wants it to be just the two of u and he doesn't want to cry in front of her. but he won't even be able to concentrate on that bc of what's actually going on. he honestly won't even notice it.. he will be 100% focused on just you and your pushing when the time comes. it may not seem like it but that's what happens. he won't care once your baby is there. the moment is perfect regardless of who is in the room with you.
My mom was there for my first birth, and yours should be able to be there for yours IF you want her to. That's your mother. He has an opinion, but ultimately you are the one giving birth, not him.
if my mom was alive she would have been in the room
the way I look at it is. your the one who goes threw all the pain and stress on YOUR body have who you want in the room. it may be mean but I went 27 hours unmedicaided back labor 29 all together after epidural. my husband was no help what so ever
My mom was in the room for my first two births, she won't be there for this birth and I am so sad 😔 this is your birth, your decision. Do not let him make it for you.
I won't be having my mom in the room as me and my SO wanna be able to share the moment but shortly after I dont mind her after
thank you all so much for the responses! I think it helped my partner realize that it's not completely untraditional and that a lot of women have the same thoughts as I do. @mamaash I definitely agree that nothing could ruin this moment, and that my mother won't be on our minds at all. again, thank you all so much. I do hope we can come to an agreement soon :)