Anyone else have SERIOUS family drama, especially when it comes to the kids?

For me to explain everything would require me to write a book 🙄 Me and my mom have had a very rocky relationship for as long as I can remember. It got really bad a few months before my daughter was born almost 2 years ago. She ignored me even being pregnant until the day we found out the gender then wanted to act all excited like she was #1 grandma. Before that if anyone ever asked if she was excited for a grandbaby she'd act all happy but then she'd switch back to her regular self. I get I got pregnant at 17 and she was disappointed but you'd think at some point she'd get over it and make the best of it. Still to this day she's that way. The only time she acts happy and excited about my kids is when she's buying them stuff. If we're over at her house she's being so weird. It's like she doesn't know how to be a grandparent other than buying stuff. Buying stuff doesn't even make you a grandparent but that's the only way she knows how. The day I brought my daughter home from the hospital she tried to kick us out after being there for 5 minutes. Her husband was pissed because my sister told her I didn't want him to be called "Papaw". I barely knew this guy, he makes me feel totally uncomfortable (when I told my mom that it caused hella drama), he's not my dad, my dad is fully present in my life. I don't view this person as anything important in my life and everyone knew that yet my mom thinks all because she's married to him it makes him family to me. He's not! Well when he was all pissed he was I guess ignoring my mom and she "couldn't take". So she told me if I can't fix things between them then I need to find some other place to go. 20 minutes later she comes back with food and says "I didn't mean it to sound that way". How do you mess up saying "leave"? Things have been extremely rocky between us ever since. I'm really close with my husband's family and I'm close with my dad. We live 4 1/2 hours away from all our family but we stay in contact with all of them. My mom is the only one who causes problems. Ever since my daughter was born she's had this "I'm better than everyone" attitude. She won't even try to have a conversation with my mother-in-law. It makes things awkward when we all get together and my mom is over in the corner with her arms crossed and her nose up in the air. When it comes to my dad I don't expect her to be all friendly because I mean, hello lol But being civil is what she needs to do. Fake it for all I care. She doesn't have to for the sake of me and my sister anymore since we're both adults but I'm the one with kids, their grandkids. I don't want them growing up and seeing they "hate" each other. My dad gets along fine with my husband's family but my mom refuses to talk to either one of them when we all get together. MAYBE once a year. And my mom has zero problem talking smack about my dad either. She can do and say what she wants. She's an adult but she can at least be respectful and not say shit while I'm around. So help me if I hear my children saying anything about him because of her I'm going to lose it!

Here recently I made a big post on Facebook explaining how I want the day to go when my son is born. No visitors until my husband's 10 days off work is over, no sharing pictures of him until I say so, don't beg to come visit when I already said no, all this. I just want privacy. My husband wasn't able to be here for our daughter because he was in training for the Army so this important for me. Since we do have an almost 2 year old and we don't have friends or family here we had to figure out who would be watching her for us at the house while I'm giving birth. I decided to ask one of my sister-in-laws because she's helped watch her before and she's been around her since she was born. I trust her more than most people. So she agreed and she'll be here with our daughter and depending on when baby brother is born they'll come up to the hospital after. So that's one visitor I'm 100% okay with being there. Today my dad asked if he and my stepmom could come up and visit either the day of or after. He also said it was completely up to me and if I said "no" then he'd understand. Not to feel obligated just because he's my dad. I agreed to let them come up and visit after the baby is born. They've never done me wrong, neglect my parental decisions or anything like that. There's never once been an issue. Unlike my mom.. Now that I'm going to have 3 visitors at the hospital I'm so worried my mom is going to find out. I don't really care if she finds out because this is MY day. I'm bringing MY son into the world. I don't have to do a single thing to make anyone happy. As long as me and my husband are good then I'm fine. I've already told my mom numerous times about not wanting anyone here. If I was to just say no to her then it'd be all this drama 🙄 I'm just worried that she'll get wind of it and start running to my grandparents and other family members talking bad about me. Believe it or not she'd do it because she does it to my siblings and cousin. She's very very childish nowadays. The day my daughter was born was completely ruined. I don't want another repeat. I'm not going to do things just to make people happy but I'm also not trying to have my mom hate me. Ya know? I'm just so sick of the drama and feeling like I need to put her feelings before mine. My son is due in 13 days and I'm so nervous now about how it's going to go when it comes to the family. I'm not keeping everyone up to date on the events leading up to the birth because a lot of them would literally be at my doorstep before I even get home. My family would actually do that.. Does the drama ever end? 🙄🙈