I completely understand where you're coming from.. It's hard . I have to motivate myself to get up and pump every 4 hours and wash pump parts and bottles ... I wish I could give you advice . Just look at your little one and remember they only have you. They are cast out into the world and don't know what's going on- all they know is that mommy is there to fix everything they need . Sorry if this doesn't make too much sense - I'm sleep deprived lol. I'm here if you ever need someone to chat with. .