I love my chunker butt but postpartum depression sucks. I knew something was wrong and didn't wanna bring myself to think I was depressed because I have never had a harmful thought cross my mind. At my 6 week checkup I filled out the questionnaire and realized my aggravation, crying, hopeless feelings were affecting my life. I had no enjoyment for my son and breastfeeding was a pain rather than a bonding experience that I had stopped and switched to formula. I was hoping work would have helped me feel better but it made me paranoid on top of all my other feelings. Now that I want to be treated and come out of this on top not just for myself but for my son I get knocked back down by my fiancé because he doesn't want to help me enjoy my life anymore. I take care of our son 24/7 and this week I worked 27 hours for my first week back and next week I go to my normal 36 hours and the week after I will be pushing over time just to make sure I can pay my bills and buy our son what he needs. I am now staying at my moms to give us a break so my mom can help me with my son and be there for me to vent to without harsh remarks and set backs. Prayers for me and my family would be great full right now because I have done nothing but pray and pray to beat this and I can't do it alone anymore. And as for other mommies don't wait until you are miserable and about to have a breakdown to get help go as soon as you feel something is wrong it will help you in the long run so you can actually enjoy being a mom and not feel like it's a continuous miserable job.