Lots of death in my circles lately, hoping my hubby can stay strong and stay sober. He's already…

I feel the same with my boyfriend. He said this pack he bought was going to be the last one, but there's so much stress that I feel like he's going to cave. It's hard.

@grayce1219, I just hope he doesn't hide stuff from me.

@indigenousmommy, I hope the same. I hope everything goes well with you! Just take some deep breaths and trust that he won't go back to it. Hold him to it. That's what I do. I tell my boyfriend (not in a guilt trip kind of way) that I would rather have my child's father around for alive and healthy than barely alive and sick all the time.

@grayce1219, I told him I hope he can tell me when he feels like using because I'll still love him. But I can't be with someone who self destructs when things get hard, especially with a baby on the way. He knows that and I feel like we can get through it. Its really hard sometimes. And sometimes I wish I didn't care as much about him using substances.

@indigenousmommy, I understand. My boyfriend does things that he knows makes me irritated, but he doesn't realize hes doing them until I'm jumping down his throat. He still smokes, but he doesn't tell me when or where so that I can't get as mad as I would if I knew. But it does make it hard. These babies should be their first priority. And men have a harder time explaining how they feel, so when they're stressed, they just might go have a cigarette to calm down. I'm not in any way excusing it, but I know thats how my boyfriend is. Things will be okay. If you both are willing to work through it, then things will become easier.

@grayce1219, In our native way, ceremonies were created for men mostly because women have an ability most men do not, and that's communicating and naturally purifying our bodies (periods) as well as facing excruciating pain (childbirth). Ceremonies act as a way to replicate the experiences/suffering women go through and to build a tolerance for it. So I understand that it's harder for men and if they don't have a positive outlet it's going to be more tempting to use drugs and alcohol to deal with stress and grief when it does happen. I'm trying to find ways to cope that are healthy so we don't resort back to things like drinking to cope with life. It's just hard in this age when most of our peers and relatives tempt us and belittle problems with drugs and alcohol. Sorry for the rant. I'm trying to process everything and not stress.

@indigenousmommy, You're totally fine (: I understand your stress. It's not unfounded. Good luck with everything!