I've actually been wondering this for a week now. *Back story* the father of my daughter barley gets a hold of me to ask about appointments or ask how our daughter is. When I was 18 weeks, he went to the ultrasound, then I didn't hear from him until my 21 week appointment and he said he couldn't make it. I didn't hear from him again until he called my house about a month ago and asked about my next ultrasound which was my 36 week one. I let him know the details and he showed up. I talked to him and told him I'm having my sisters and mom in the delivery room with me and he got upset, which I understood and talked to him about it. He seemed fine, but he hasn't tried messaging me or calling me to ask about our daughter and he has 3 ways to get a hold of me. i just want some advice on what to do, it feels like he just doesnt care. 😢
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I think it's good you have your mom and sisters. I agree with @phinnybinz, if he doesn't care you can't make him care- and trying to make him care will only hurt and exhaust you! The father of my first 2 kids was always happy and excited and loves our kids, but will only "parent" them to a very limited extent. I spent years trying to make it into something it would never be- and once I let go and quit trying to force it, I was relieved. Only then did I meet and marry a wonderful man who actually does parent those girls.
I was talking to my sisters about this today and they told me the same. Its something i do want to get settled now, i will not let him walk in and out of her life like he has throughout the pregnancy. I don't know how to start talking to him about this.
If he doesn't care, he doesn't care. You can't force someone to feel or act a certain way. I know that sucks. My only advice would be to have a talk with him about how involved he actually wants to be in his child's life. He either wants to be or he doesn't. He can't come and go. It's not fair to her.
How can I go about talking to him about this? I'm probably over thinking this, but do I call him and talk on the phone, send a message, have him come to my house to talk? I just really don't know how to talk to him.