I think I'm having after birth depression 💔

I hated life and my baby too💔💔

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I kind of suffered from postpartum depression after I had my first due to me being self conscious about my weight and not accepting my appearance. I made a promise to myself this time no matter what I'm going to eat better and exercise.

Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

just feel super depressed. literally in tears right now. nothing I do or say seems to be going right. sometimes I wished I would've killed myself years ago when I had the chance. I'm sorry if this depresses you :(