Rant time: I guess I'm writing this just to vent but I think I finally felt like just bawling my eyes out. I don't turn my boyfriend on anymore. not just sexually but he doesn't look at me the same. Those green eyes don't adoringly look at me the same way anymore. The words he used to say never leave his lips or cross his mind. My arousement is futile as he pushes me away. I beg him to be with me, hold me, walk with me, eat dinner with me at the same table, but I'm shot down and left on my own for a screen and a controller. I place my hand on my stomach and choke back tears because its almost as if I don't exist, I'm background noise, a ghost in the room. In the audience of others I am the wall he needs to tear down to build himself up. The untidy house, my need to rest, and the hard work I do is simply not enough. So many ask how can you stand it? How do you love someone so much although they pretend you are not there? The answer put as simple as I can... "I'm still in love although he has fallen out of love"
Although he completes me he also ruins parts of me. I watch from behind... the sound of the television and our son moving inside. I hope not to sit here next to my son and see his eyes longing for his father and hope he will someday notice him. Time will only tell if this ugly spell will fade and once again I feel this love but until then I will practice hiding pain. For red eyes and a runny nose could just be my allergies and tears from my long eyelashes irritating my hazel mournful eyes.
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I am so sorry, im here if you ever need to vent.. Its hard because when you LOVE someone no matter what they do its hard to fall out of love. I have been with my husband for 7 yrs and we have had issues similar to the ones you are having but i stayed and we are strong now then before i had my daughter. She changed us both in so many ways but they are all good and he is not the same man he used to be but he devotes his time and attention to us and just us! I hope he comes around when your son is born Nd i am sure he will just try to stay strong mama
I am going through the same as you honey. It's so hard. I'm writing him a letter as I'm writing this. Just explaining how everything I feel and what had changed.
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Meet my son ladies! He was born yesterday at 5:06pm weighing in at 6 pounds 2ounces 😍😍😍 I had an emergency c section with bad preeclampsia! I just want to think all my friends that sent me prayers and positive messages & comments! I'm completely in love with my bundle of heaven! I love you my Erik Ray 👶🏼💙 born July 22nd!
TWW!!
2dpo and on the tww journey. Anyone on the same dpo or close? Haven't decided if I will test at 12dpo or just wait and see if she shows up!!
Question. I just left my husband for cheating and now hes been harassing me. Hes threatening to come get our son. I dont care if he sees his son but I'm not comfortable with him leaving with him bc hes never taken care of him a day In his life and he might use him against me. Am I wrong for feeling this way??
I just want his arms wrapped around me one last time and hear words come out of his mouth that arent true "I love you".. I miss him so bad. My first love! My first relationship! He was many of my first and I know today isnt even the hardest day yet.. I literally hate that I love him so much.
Oh my did you take the words from my mouth! I have been in this boat for the whole pregnancy and feel so alone when I long to feel complete. I too pray it passes.... I'm here if you wanna talk