While tucking in my daughter tonight she asked me who my daddy is.

Let me explain. I do know who my biological parents are. I had a very emotionally, physically and sexually abusive childhood because of them. They kicked me out of their home when I was 12 and at 14 I moved back in as long as I paid a portion of rent and a portion of electric. Then I told my biological mother I was pregnant at 17. 3 hours later she told my father then he called my husband's parents and said get her stuff out of my house before I get off of work in 3 hours. We didn't speak until a week before my daughter was born and then when my daughter was 3 weeks old my mother almost dropped my baby from her arms cause my daughter spit up a dime size amount on her shirt. I kicked them both out of my house and I told them to never speak to me again. That was over 7 years ago.

Now back to tonight. My daughter asked me if I had a daddy and I said yeah your Peepoo. (thats what she calls her grandpa which is my husband's father) She said no he's not cause hes my daddy's father and if he is your dad then that makes you and daddy brother and sister. Hahaha okay she got me there. So I told her well I have two mommy's. Then she said how is that possible. Then I explained that I was adopted and thats how I have two mommy's and no daddy. This little girl goes well that just means your mommy and daddy gave you up before you could get to know them and that's why you don't remember them. Ugh shes way too smart but I said yep you are right but I have two mommy's that I know and remember and love and thats all we need. She seemed very pleased with this response.

My only issue is the people who did raise me were awful human beings and it wasn't until I was 23 that I found out that my "father" is just one of the 4 guys that could possibly be my father. Which makes sense why I never looked like him or my brothers. Hes 3/4 Cherokee Indian and 1/4 Blackfoot Indian. Black hair and dark brown eyes with dark skin. My mother dirty blonde with green eyes and I came out platinum blonde with deep blue eyes with porcelain skin. My 2 brothers look just like him and I looked odd because I'm swedish / dutch and my mother is Dutch. Funny business going on don't you think.

I don't want my daughter to know those people. I don't want her to know of my childhood. Ever. She's young now but even when she gets older I don't want her to ever know about what I went through. She has great grandparents thanks to my husband and I have 2 mothers that have claimed me as theirs and even make jokes that I'm the favorite kid cause I'm the kid they chose. I guess the point of this post is some reason I thought I wouldn't have this conversation with her until she was older and having it now kinda hurts.