I try to keep my posts positive, but I just need a moment to get something out.

I'm drained. I've been emotional the past few days because I'm just tired. The school year is almost over-only 5 more days! It's been such a crazy, busy month at school that I'm ready for summer, but at the same time, I'm not ready to say goodbye to my kids.

We're moving in a few weeks and I haven't done anything to prepare. By the time I get home or I have time to do things on the weekend, I have no energy or motivation.

And I'm emotionally drained from my younger brother's unplanned, premarital pregnancy. I was excited for my little boy to be the only grandbaby for my parents and now he's going to have a cousin only a few months behind him. I know it's selfish and immature, I pray alot about my feelings toward my brother's fiance and the niece or nephew I'll have (I want to be excited!) , but it's draining to deal with.

And I'm not sure what's going to happen with my summer job or whether a door will open for me to work from home to pay on my student loans when Flynn comes in August. I need to have a job and the 2 doors I thought would be open are now closed. I've prayed for a way to earn at least $550 a month to cover my loans. I just need to wait and know God will provide something somehow.

I had a break down today. I just needed to cry it out, and my husband let me. He's amazing and so great. But I feel so guilty for having this stuff overwhelm me and it's all he hears about. I literally talk about my body or the baby 24/7 and I don't mean to, I know it gets old, but I know he gets annoyed with it. Even though he hasn't said anything.

I just want to sleep without having to worry about anything. I want pure peace with my husband and not have it involve the baby. I want to maintain a healthy marriage even though we have a family now. If we don't take care of ourselves and our relationship, what will hold our family together?

I just need to make it for about 3 more weeks. I'm praying for strength, peace and wisdom. It's just hard. #babye #flynnpaul #twentysixweeks