I love my son but only God knows how much more I can take.....between needing my medicine for my own mental illness, fighting the urges to drink, constantly dealing with issues that my family puts forth (even though I don't live with them). When ever something goes wrong I get a call. Missing my father and having my mother judge my every move like I am three instead of 32 I can't take any more.....the tears won't stop the anger won't stop and I just want to drown in a bottle of alcohol and cry. I honestly am thinking of checking myself back into the mental hospital because at least I don't have to deal with the world for my last 53 days but than they will make me take medicine that I am so scared will harm my child. God help me.....