Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Woke up outta my sleep in crazy pain and to my 4 year old all under me and to my husband saying is Loyal here yet I'm getting nervous cause that man have always been head on to when his kids coming out an playing the game and guess what that's what's going on now I'm ready for baby boy but then again I am not. My 4 year old is literally walking every where I walk talking about I'ma stay with you mama even when I go to the br I'm starting to feel sick to my stomach......

Yesterday I got in a jacuzzi for a hour today I have really bad pain the whole day and the baby has not stopped moving is this bad should I go to the e.r? I'm in a lot of pain

So I keep feeling these lil sharp pains on my right side. You do get pains like that before you start your period right.? Remember I had that dark brown spotting for a few hours last month on the 22. My period suppose to start today.

Birth Plan Rant

I used to be all about getting an epidural, but after research and thinking about it more I want to have an unmedicated birth (this is my first baby). What annoys me is when I say that I'm going to TRY my hardest to have a natural and unmedicated birth people always feel the need to say that I'm crazy or that I'm going to change my mind when I get in that position. Or that epidurals are the best. I do realize that plans change, but why can't people be supportive and encouraging?