I wish I could stop letting this weight gain get to me. I eat healthy but I also eat not so healthy.…

I wish I could stop letting this weight gain get to me. I eat healthy but I also eat not so healthy. Sometimes I don't have a choice when things are limited m. Yet I always end up feeling guilty and ashamed. I'm afraid I'll unconsciously start eating less when I know that's not good for the baby. Anyone felt this way towards the end? I guess my fear is that I won't get back to 130lb again. Or that it will take too long. Or the last 10-15lb will be difficult to get off. My plan is start my diet and exercise asap I just hope I don't have any complications during/after delivery that will prevent me from doing it. I'm scared of the obsession I'll have for losing the weight. I'm afraid of the disappointment. I'm afraid of falling into depression especially since I've been experiencing it this whole pregnancy. I don't want it to become that way where I'll be more focused on my body than my child. That's just awful and selfish. I've always been self conscious about my body since high school and now that feeling is back again. 😓