ladies, I know it's not a short read at all. but I would like all of you to take the time to read this, and even find her Facebook profile and read her recent updates of her little girl Ava. I'm hugging my babies closer tonight, and donating 250oz of breastmilk to this momma. she needs it much more than I do. but more than that, I have a much greater appreciation for my babies health. acid reflux, torticollis, and a double ear infection is NOTHING compared to what this mom is going through every day.

Allison Crouch Lewis- birmingham AL

"i'm not surprised that they keep leaving it out. after all, it's not a very popular stance in our culture right now. i had hoped to have the opportunity to share further, and after some difficult messages today likening ava to a carrot or telling us we're unmerciful because of the choice to continue ava's life, now seems like the perfect time for me to share the rest of the story on my own, the part that never made it into any publication. i know it's long, but we would be honored if you would read the rest of the interview to hear the heart behind ava's adoption, because without it, this is just a fleeting feel-good story, and His perfect creation is so much more than that.

"for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well. your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (psalm 139:13-14, 16). several years ago, josh and i became deeply burdened over the low view of life that we so often have in this country. we write those verses on onesies and baby shower invitations all the time, but what about when the tears flowing after a positive pregnancy test aren't happy ones? or what happens when an ultrasound shows the unimaginable? despite the circumstances surrounding a baby's created life, we felt so strongly that the truth of those verses - "fearfully and wonderfully made" - still rang true. in all honesty, though, we just didn't know where to go with those convictions, so we began to pray: lord, give us a voice.

fast forward to october 30, 2015, my 38th birthday. my phone dinged to let me know that a message had just come through. i opened it up to find a note from a friend of ours who's also an adoption attorney. she said that she'd remembered our talking about possibly wanting to adopt again (our 4th child, micah, was adopted) and then shared that she was aware of a birth mom who needed a family for her baby. i called my husband to get the conversation started, but instead of proceeding with his typically logical, slow process of decision-making, he exclaimed, "absolutely! this is so clearly an answer to what we've been praying."

when the call came to let us know that sam's birth mother was in labor, we wildly threw the kids and a handful of luggage into the van and hit the road for the 10hr trip to duke university hospital in durham, NC. we had just crossed over the south carolina border when my phone rang. when i saw that it was our friend and adoption attorney, i casually answered it, expecting her to just be checking on our progress through the trip. instead, she asked with a lilt in her voice, "does josh have both hands on the steering wheel?" she proceeded to tell me that the doctors at duke had just completed an ultrasound and had discovered that there were, in fact, TWO babies soon to be born. i always have a hard time articulating the emotions that poured themselves over us in that moment. it was something akin to ecstatic, overwhelmed, terrified delight. we immediately contacted our small group at our church and asked them to pray...for what, i'm not even sure. just to pray. we kept reminding one another that the lord had gone before us in this, and while we hadn't known there were twins, he'd known all along.

as the fear eased and the excitement grew, our friend's name reappeared on my phone's screen. when she began talking this time, though, her tone was completely different. gone was the lilt and in its place was a voice of heartache. "i'm so sorry to tell you this; they're on their way now to do an emergency c-section, and they don't think baby B will survive the delivery." a million and one things occurred during the next two hours of driving to the hospital, but when we finally arrived, we found a small, but healthy, baby boy cuddling with the nurses on the postpartum floor. but in NICU lay a precious three-pound darling whom we would soon find out was born without a brain. the doctors looked at us with eyes of sorrow and compassion and said, "you don't have to take her. we know this isn't what you signed up for."

in that moment, all those years of praying and weeping over lost lives came to a silent crescendo...the lord, the author of all life, had given us a voice.

from opposite sides of the tiny incubator, josh and i said in unison, "she's our daughter". our whole family spent the next 3 weeks at duke with her, cuddling, singing, crying, and praying. when she was stable enough, duke graciously provided a medical transport to fly her to children's hospital in our hometown of birmingham, al where she spent three more weeks in NICU. finally, after 44 days in the hospital, ava leigh lewis came home to her family.

choosing ava to be our daughter was one of the "hardest easy things" we've ever done. it was easy in that after praying for something for so long, to see it clearly manifest right before our eyes was pure grace. we didn't have to manufacture the results of our prayers; jesus so sweetly revealed his will in a dimly lit room full of beeping medical machinery. but we also went into this knowing how incredibly hard it would be. we have multiple visits a week from her hospice team, and as much as we've come to love and treasure our nurses, their visits are a reminder that ava's life on earth will likely end much sooner than we would ever want. we've had some very scary days of prolonged seizures, extreme pain, and labored breathing, but those days have driven us deeper and deeper into the truths of christ's love. he will never leave us or forsake us. he created ava's life for a purpose, and he will see it through to the glorious end."