×× we are doing ok now. but the past is still killing me and i have zero trust×××

does anybody else have a boyfriend that has never cheated but he has done so much fucked up shit that you feel him cheating would have been easier to get over? just need somebody to talk to to explain all that has happened and get their input. i cant decide if he is literally being crappy or if he just doesnt understa d what hes doing!