Idk why the last couple days have been worse for me. I've been so together so far but now that I'm getting farther along…

you will do a perfect job! and when they get older and more wiser and past their teenage years they will forever thank you for everything! and your welcome 💟

@mareesan, thank you that means a lot. All I can is hope I'm teaching them right and that I'll be good enough as their only parent to lead them the right way in life. Thanks again for all ur kind words.

that is normal to feel like that once you go through something life changing that you can never go back from. and im not here to push god on you. i will pray for you and let god come to you. he is just simply testing your faith. easier said then done when it comes to something so serious. i just hope the very best for you. i dont understand from a wife or girlfriends point of view only from a daughters. so its a very different feeling the pain is there but it's different pain to lose a husband and to lose a father. but im so glad you are showing your beautiful blessings that, this was mommy and daddy and we loved each other your daddy took care of me and yall, he provided and that is what a man does. so they never look for nothing less. and look for someone one day just like their daddy a man who gives and not takes. your a great momma.

@mareesan, thanks that helps a lot. I do wanna show them how much we loved each other and how much he loved them. I have tons of pictures of him especially with my daughter who was 18 months old when he died. I put pics up on the walls and she knows that's her daddy. She tells him she loves him and kisses the pics. I know they will hear so many good stories and he was such an amazing daddy and hubby. He worked so hard and provided for us and I hope to show the girls he woulda done anything for them. I'm glad it helped u to get closer to God. But honestly for me it's done the opposite . I use to believe in God but now it's too hard to believe that this is part of some bigger plan. I just can't imagine why it was his time to go or why it had to be him. He just didn't deserve it and maybe I'm horrible but I wish it had been someone else, anyone but him or my kids.

also you knew him, you can answer questions for them like his fav color his fav food, what he did for fun. nobody could ever answer thinggs like that for me, nobody "remembered" and nobody cared to remember it just didnt matter. so i went my whole life always wondering who is this man.. which made it harder. so you knowing him and yall being on good terms and in love will i promise you make it somewhat easier for their little hearts and make the situation more at peace for them instead of always questioning.

i have harley any pictures with my dad maybe like 3. i don't remember him at all, all I remember is walking to his casket and kissing his cheek that is the last memory i have of him. i know thats so crazy. but it really made me super close to my mom, it made me i guess have separation anxiety i would cry if she would leave i was so little and would have to sleep with her because i would think someone is going to break inside the house and hurt me or her. and the thought of me losing my mom was so scary to me. i was only 4-5 thinking like this. /: my poor little self. my mom didnt really catch on to it, i used to have super bad suicidal issues, depression issues etc. i still to this day have separation anxiety from my mom or my boyfriend i really need to be with them 24/7. my boyfriend is like my "man" role model. and my mom well shes my only blood parent. ive learned to pray more and cope with it and not worry so much. god has a plan and his plan was not for me to worry about my mom and her "dying." thats for god to worry about. im suppose to be a kid not worried about death. and now as an adult i realize how true that is. i trust in god more and me getting pregnant after years of trying and being so depressed and always thinking i was never going to be a mother well i trusted god i said you know what let me get closer to you lord before i bring a baby in this world sure enough i got saved i got baptized i turned my life around and I concieved my daughter days after i got baptized she has truly restored my heart and took every ounce of sadness out of me. i learned its not my fault my dad is gone i have an angel and now so does my daughter. and i know one day i will see him again. i cant let it affect me. but im a sensitive person i let things affect me. while some they accept it and move on. so why im telling you this is to really watch your daughters and look at the patterns of their behavior such as seperation anxiety depression etc. because if you let it go to far it could take longer to heal. let them know constantly how much their daddy loved them and how much mommy and daddy loved eachother. my parents where on bad terms my dad was a trouble maker didnt have time for me my mom did it all on her own the first 3 years, he would beat her when she was pregnant with me and hearing those bad stories made it worse because it made me angry with him. like how could you do that to my mom. but if you tell good stories it might make things easier for them. they will look up to him:)

@mareesan,

Thank you. That's one of my biggest fears is how it's gonna affect my daughters growing up seeing other kids with their dads and how it's gonna hurt them. It's also sad they won't remember him. And this new baby won't even have a picture with him.

i am so sorry for your loss love. i lost my dad when i was 3 to a car accident and it got harder on me always seeing people with their dads. it really made me have my guard up and not allow any man in my life to be a father figure even my stepdad hes been in life since i was 6 and im finally after 13-14 years giving him a chance to be a father towards me. just have to hold on and know that you and your baby girls have an angel and that is such a beautiful thing. praying for you girl.