Need advice : I will be a first time mom in May . I'm taking 2 months maternity leave. I go back to work in July. I just found out that my job requires me to travel in August . My baby will be 3 months old . I have to go to Maui for 3 weeks . I have three options.
1. Leave to Maui and leave my baby with my in laws and my husband for 3 weeks :( ( highly unlikely, my least favorite option especially because I want to breast feed and by the time I get back my baby will be completely used to bottles).
2. Bring my baby with me . My job provides a condo for me and my family. My job pays for some of our expenses I get a type of allowance when I'm there. We would just have to pay for my husband or my moms ticket ( if my husband can't get all that time off work ) and some of our food and transportation. When I travel I get paid double time so it would be nice to get the extra income after being on disability for two months. But I feel like James will be too little to travel and it would all just be too stressful for my husband and I ?
3. Not go. Stay home for three weeks and bond some more with my baby , but I won't get any type of income for 3 -4 weeks. I make more money then my husband. Almost 3 times as much,especially when I travel. Things are tight when he's the only one working.
My question is . How hard was it to leave your baby for the first time when you had to go back to work? What would you do? For me I feel like option one is not even an option . I don't care about the money I just have to have my baby with me and he's not even born yet. I'm leaning more towards option 3 but my husband is really trying to be supportive and convince me that we can try option1 or 2. I haven't ruled out option 2 completely because my job has been nice enough to let me take a 2 month maternity leave and they would have to go through the trouble of finding a replacement for me. I want to decided soon and let them know so they have time to find someone to cover for me if I don't go. Any advice. I guess it's harder because I don't know what it's like to be a mom and be away from my baby for a couple of hours, let alone weeks !! 😣
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I think you should go to Maui with your family. being completely away from your baby won't be good on you or him. You'll be depressed and not do well at work. not going at all would also be a bit depressing bc after a while of being home you get overwhelmed. your baby will love the weather. see it as a mini vacation. I personally would do that if I was in your position. (:
@mamak2jamesd, I still lean towards staying home, especially if travel opportunities come up frequently. Then you'll make up for the lost income, when baby James isn't quite so tiny. He will either travel better with a more developed inmune system, or you'll feel better about leaving him with hubs. Good luck!
@dennisbabyboy, @emunoz @lovelyjessi1414 option 2 was my first option but the closer I get to giving birth I'm leaning more towards option 3 . Still undecided but option 2 does seem like it would be doable especially if my husband can come with me because our wedding anniversary is in August and it would be like a mini paid vacation with baby James and we went to Maui for our honeymoon 😊
Absolutely @mamak2jamesd...I just tell what ppl didnt tell me. Motherhood isn't easy, but its by far the BEST job in the WORLD!
@gorgeoushar, wow 9 months !! That's awesome , wish I was that lucky. After nine months I would probably quit my job I would be so attached to my baby. Your story made me lol 😂 Thanks for sharing.
@babymaciesmomma, I have Heard that most moms break into tears when they leave their babies for the first time 😔 I am already trying to mentally prepare myself. @sam.g that's awesome that you could take such a long maternity leave. I agree I want to spend as much time as I can with my baby. I took a pay cut and I will be working par-time after I have my baby, except for when I have to travel.
I would go with baby and you husband/mom. at 3 months the baby sleeps a lot and I don't think it would be as stressful as if he were older. you get to get work done then spend precious time with your baby.
I would go and just take my mom to babysit unless your there for more than 2 weeks then take your husband too
My goal is four months off, then go back at 3/4 time. But I have a strong union who is working towards paid maternity leave. It just won't be in place by the time I give birth.
I'd go with option 2. I couldn't leave my baby
I took off 9 months with my first baby and it was thee hardest thing ever to go back to work! I breast fed until she was 22 months. The first week back to work I would call every other hour to check on her and she was with my dad, lol. I would be late to work trying to cuddle with her or change her before leaving...one day I broke down in tears on the way to work, I went to wipe my face & had poop on my pinky from when I changed her...LOL...I was an absolute mess. However, after the first week I was fine. I do not want to tell you which option you should pick at all, but I will say...breastfeeding develops a bond like no other with your baby. Follow your heart, do what YOU feel is right. Not what your mother-in law or husband feels...
No one ever looked back at retirement age and said, I really should have worked more. All of the advice I've been given is to take as much time at home as you possibly can. You will never get that time back. You will need it to bond with baby and to heal. My advice: go back to work after that scheduled trip - even if you have to eat into your savings a little bit.
I couldn't even go to the store without my baby. Both times. It's going to be hard. But that said, not impossible. If you're a strong woman, by all means do it!
@lucyyxoxo_, that's a good way to look at it . Thanks !