You were alive. We saw your tiny heart beating. We saw you wiggle and squirm on the screen. You were…

You were alive. We saw your tiny heart beating. We saw you wiggle and squirm on the screen. You were there and you were so very real. Your heartbeat was the most beautiful music in our ears because we love you so. You were alive, though you were small, you were alive. We dreamed of holding you and bringing you home. We dreamed of your big brother playing with you. I longed for 2am feedings and changes. Rocking you to sleep and waking to your coos. Then four words made our dreams come crashing down around us into a cold and terrifying reality. There is no heartbeat. Four words that will replay in my head until the day I get to see you. You were alive, little one, and oh so very loved. When your little heart stopped our hearts shattered. We did not just lose a pregnancy. Our child died. We will never get to hold you in our arms but we will always hold you in our hearts. As long as I live, you will live. As long as I live, you will be remembered. As long as I live, you will be loved.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

1 Samuel 1:27-28