so I ended up seeing a lawyer and trying to get things in place so that I can protect my son and I…

so I ended up seeing a lawyer and trying to get things in place so that I can protect my son and I from his father. let alone have supervised visits or nothing at all.. I know I'm doing the right thing. but it just feels so awful and I'm having the hardest time with it. especially after all the I love yous and all that. breaks my heart that my son will probably never know his real father because he doesn't wanna be in the picture and because of me... :(