Going though all my photos on my phone and deleting pictures of everything I want to get my baby. I'm not even gonna try and going to force myself with my broken heart I now have not to care because it's apparently a bad thing that I'm getting over excited and bought some stuff for baby. I'm just so darn hurt and heart broken I can't even stop crying. I was soo excited even tho this baby was a complete surprise for I wasn't planning on having another baby for 3 yrs from now. I just neve saw this coming ever. I had such wonderful dreams of a baby room for the first time since with my other kids I didn't have that chance or option because I didn't have the money too.