Okay so I need some help..
So, I have a 4 year old step son that lives with me and my fiancé. (so I guess technically he's not yet but anyways) I try to do absolutely EVERYTHING for him because his mother isn't much of a mother at all. But he constantly acts like I mean nothing. His dad works a lot to support us while I'm pregnant (his idea) so I stay at home and take care of things. I take him to school and pick him up. I make sure he has everything he needs for school, I pack his lunch the way he likes, make him dinner because he complains about what I cook for Josh (my fiancé) and I and that's just a few things. I go out and buy him new clothes. I even redid his room before MY DAUGHTERS! Her nursery still isn't done because I spend so much time on him. Anyways, I do all of these things for him and he never says thank you. He doesn't listen to me, and constantly plays me and his dad against each other. If I ask him to get his toys up he starts crying and runs and tells his dad I yelled at him! He also says things that really hurt me. Why does he do this to me when all I do is be good to him!?
I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?
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@miasmommy2016, She is amazing now but trust me it took time and patience, discipline, and dad getting over the fact that she was being manipulative. She squeezed my baby's fingers and I almost lost it on her she was five and he was one and that's when dad first saw it but he still didn't fully believe we eventually got on the same page.
@miasmommy2016, my stepdaughter is 14 now and kids learn young how to manipulate situations and you will look crazy. My husband and I had many of arguments about it and no matter what I was the villian. Even though I showed love and made sure she was included, like I said it's tough but there is no backing down especially to a child. Which is why you and dad have to be on the same page.
i understand hun. its frustrating. maybe try sitting down with him and talking, see if there's anything bugging him that maybe hes just afraid to talk about? it'll also help to sit down with your SO and have a talk about everything. you both need to be on the same page as far as discipline and how to handle these situations with his son.
@emily18234, @pixiestix @suprise4 He hasn't been with his mom since he was several months old. I told him that we could be friends that he didn't have to call me mom and he was okay with that. and then he turns on me. Everyone thinks he's a golden child so when I say that he does something wrong no one believes me..
i have an ex who has 2 daughters from different women, he has full custody of his oldest, and while we were together i did literally everything to take care of them. One day his oldest flat out said she hated me. i took it to heart, i ended up leaving him over it because i didnt want to force a child to like me. I now realize, thats just how kids are. Kids are assholes honestly. lol He's probably just figuring out how to push people's buttons. but he could also feel that you are trying to be mom, and it may freak him out a bit or hes just not used to the attention and its confusing for him. its a tough spot to be in but it'll get better in time.
He is 4 and you and dad need to get on one page. Because he is learning that if you say something he can run to dad. Easier said than done I know. Talk about discipline and rewards with dad and try to come to agreement. Being a blended family is tough but not impossible, communication is key. Hope all works out
He probably feels like you are trying to replace his mom. Sadly, kids hate the person who tries to parent when they aren't the parent. Even if the real "parent" is shit. Do you discipline him at all? If so, stop. That's my advice. My son loves my fiance more than me because he's the "fun big brother". He has all the perks with him and no consequences.
If he's had a bit of instabilty in his life it might just be harder for him than other kids to accept and show affection. I think just keep doing your best and things will work out :) sorry that's not much advice, but it does sound like you are doing the right things and it will just take time.