Short Luteal Phase?

I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.

I can't take it anymore! Haley (yes my 1mth old and no I wasn't able to go through this "joy" of nursing my older daughter, Molly) has been screaming non stop for 6hrs! All she wants to do is eat and I can't have her attached to me all day, everyday! She has wanted to eat every hr on the hr for the past 3hrs! I put her in her room so I don't scream at her but I just can't take it!

I know Scarlett is always with me, but I just have to take comfort in the little things, and having her handprint on my heart is something I will cherish ❤️

So idk if I’m an asshole for thinking this but a girl I used to go to school with is having her 3rd kid and she’s planning a baby shower and she had one with her other two. I feel like a baby shower is something you do with ur first pregnancy. I live far from my family so I didn’t have one but i did have a baby registry and I’m not even doing that with this pregnancy. Idk I just feel like 3 baby showers is a lot! Especially when she gets things handed to her. Idk maybe I’m an ass for thinking that