I literally have never felt so alone. My boyfriend disrespects me and screams at me one day and…

I literally have never felt so alone. My boyfriend disrespects me and screams at me one day and makes me feel like a queen the next. He is playing with my mind and emotions but broke it down for me saying HE IS THE BOSS. Anyone in ma know how I can get some help? I stopped working because (judge me if you want to) I was an exotic dancer and let's face it you can't do that pregnant. Where I live has no places hiring I have tried everywhere and I don't have a car. I'm desperate to leave him but I'm not going to put myself into a shelter or anything like that. I just don't know what to do I am so alone. I have no family. Like literally none. I just wanted to have my baby in happiness and nothing like that is occurring. I'm so worried. He will never change and I need to know that. Mind you I was a lesbian before him so I have changed everything to be who he wants me to be. I can't breathe... I just want to die and I feel so guilty saying that because I fucking love my baby so much. I just am so alone and have failed my baby girl already I wanna call everything quits so I don't have to give her this horrible life. I'm struggling. I don't know what to do or where to start.