So I'm gonna bare my soul for a sec. Before pregnancy, I was dealing with really bad depression and anxiety. I hated…
So I'm gonna bare my soul for a sec.
Before pregnancy, I was dealing with really bad depression and anxiety. I hated myself, and everything about me - my personality, my body, my scars from self harm. I can't tale compliments, no matter who they're from. I just don't see myself as what people say I am.
Throughout my pregnancy I haven't thought too much about it, because every time I look at my stomach I know my baby boy is there. But my stretch marks have finally gotten my attention - and I'm thinking about how ugly I am going to be after birth. My stomach is going to look weird and I have stretch marks everywhere and I won't be sleeping basically. I already have permanent dark circles; I've had multiple people think I have smudged makeup when I'm not wearing any at all. And I'm so scared that I'm going to shut down with my son. We preplanned starting my antidepressants again in the hospital, but I'm scared it won't be enough. my fiance will be working most of the time, and I can't trust anyone I live with to even hold my son, let alone watch him if I need to do something.
I'm so scared of failing because I know that's what my mother wants... she's been trying for custody since the day I told her I was pregnant. I know it won't happen since I'm in care for medical neglect but I can't help it. I don't want to prove her right....
missing329user·
Мама двоих (младенец)
Don't hate your stretch marks. There is always a woman out there wishing she could have them. I got them bad with my twins during the time that I carried them and they're still like bright purple 7 weeks postpartum. They're physical reminders that you literally grew your little boy inside of you. I know it's hard, but coming from someone who lost children, love those stretch marks. They're beautiful, and I wish I could've gone full term with my pregnancy, regardless of how "ugly" my body would've looked beforehand.
Samantha·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
You are beautiful even with the stretch marks hun. Prove your mom wrong sweetie. Trust me you will have the strength your son needs u.
missing329user·
Мама двоих (младенец)
I struggled a lot during my pregnancy about feeling disgusting and I regret every single moment I ever felt that way. My sons were so worth it. And I'd give anything for them to still be here.
Stasja·
В ожидании первенца
thank you both @i.xvi.mmxvi @mantha823. I guess my biggest fear is just failure. and knowing how hard ppd is going to hit me.
Samantha·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
@i.xvi.mmxvi, I'm so sorry for ur loss hun. God bless you. @stasjafawn she's right.....women would love to have to those stretch marks. I've gone through feeling ugly bc I had a cute body before my pregnancies, but I have a beautiful body now. This body helped create and hold 4 babies so far......just think of them as lighting tattoos or tiger scratches lol
missing329user·
Мама двоих (младенец)
@mantha823, Thank you! I'm working on getting all of my records to start speaking with lawyers about my case. Hopefully I can get some justice for my babies!
Stasja·
В ожидании первенца
@mantha823 I know I should be grateful, and in my head I am, as well as deep in my heart but it's so hard to follow it. I've joked around the few time I was in L&D about my stretch marks being flashed at my fiance, but never expressed how insecure I really am.
Stasja·
В ожидании первенца
@i.xvi.mmxvi I hope you can get justice and find peace. I can't imagine the pain you went through, and I hope you know that you're so strong to go through that
Samantha·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
@i.xvi.mmxvi, what happened if u don't mind me asking? and I couldn't imagine how you felt about losing your babies. I pray you get justice for your babies and you definitely will!! @stasjafawn express to him how u feel.....I've recently told my husband how I felt about my body and he says he loves my body everything about it especially my pregnant belly. We actually joke about it now.
missing329user·
Мама двоих (младенец)
@mantha823, honestly it's an extremely long story and I can't really make it into a long story short kinda thing cause it wouldn't make sense without lots of details but two different doctors at two different hospitals did the wrong thing and that resulted in my loss.
Samantha·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
I'm very sorry I hope your babies get the justice they deserve and you too.