i didnt have one because of that. they pissed me off to the point i just said fuck it

I never got to have my shower because I had my twins early and they died and I STILL wouldn't just suck it up and "be grateful." You can be grateful and also make sure you make it clear that this is YOUR pregnancy and you will not tolerate someone trying to act like everything is up to them.

Have another shower? That way you get to invite who you want and they get to invite who they want? My husbands mom is throwing me a shower and I am not involved at all. She calls him to talk to him about the shower not me. At first I was upset about it but then my mom wants to throw a shower for me as well which she wants me to help plan. More people to love you and your baby. Some people don't get a shower. At least you're getting one.

The fact that she's not letting you invite everyone that you want is absolutely ridiculous. You're not being ridiculous. That's your baby. I would address it. I can't stand people like that.

Just be greatful and let them do it, my mother and sister planned mine I had no part. It was great.

I wouldn't show up. Really. It's no one's pregnancy but yours. No one can force you to do something you want to do and I'm a little petty so I would simply just not show up. I'd let her plan it out and everything and invite whoever she wants.