I feel guilty sad and mad and heartbroken
I broke down at my moms house today ... because of the debt we owe and Passover is coming and it’s a very expensive holiday ... it was just way too much .... my mom i guess told my brother that I’m suffering and he called me over and asked me why i didn’t just ask for help, and offered to help when i need it . And gave me basically 4K to help for the month and if i need more to ask ... now one thing about me , is that i will suffer silently and won’t ask for help.... I’ve always been that way. Deff thankful for my family atm. I will start to do eBay too . I have stuff i can sell... anything to help out alittle help my husband ... whatever i can do.
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no, his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me and did something else with an other girl.... and it's 10:51 am now and he hasn't texted me at all. and after he dropped me off I texted him saying what I felt and nothing. I don't know if I'm over reacting or what or what should i do. do i wait until he text me?
My mom's trying to convince me to let her into the delivery room with us, but I honestly just want it to be my boyfriend and I. And it doesn't even have anything to do with how shitty my mom has been this entire pregnancy, I just feel that this is our child, I want it to be just something that we experience. Plus, I feel it'll be a lot less stressful if only my boyfriend is there. But my god, she's trying to make me feel guilty and I'm about to snap 🙄
Advice please ? Long story... I'm getting married in April we decided no kids other than our own two and my niece And nephew as would end up more kids that adults and it would Cost so much more plus wanted parents to have a day/night to enjoy themselves. Anyway my "maid of honor" ( hasn't done much to help but cause me stress) has 5 kids her youngest will be around 5 months old she's breastfeeding him and keeps telling me she is gonna try and express ect... but I know she has no intentions of doing that and I worry she's gonna put me on the spot the day before and say he won't take a bottle (cos she wouldn't have tried) so she either can't come or has to bring him. I'm spending a lot of money for her dress, hair make up food ect... so deffo don't wanna be let down. But it's not just her that's got kids the ushers have kids and we said no kids. Now I know it's different as she's feeding him but I dunno what to do!? Do I say she can bring him (if my oh agrees too) or do I say she can't. This all sounds so awful when I read it but there will be two other guests that will have newer baby's than that coming and they arnt bringing them. The biggest thing is she's just not talking to me about any of this she's ignoring my messages and not making contact with me. But she's spoken to a friend about it who told her to talk to me and be honest about it all! Torn tbh as she's already not coming on my hen but still hasn't told me this!!! If she just came to me and said look I'm feeding my baby I don't wanna bottle feed him so either he comes or I can't I'd be happier she's being honest rather than dragging it out making out she gonna try and express. I don't expect her to I said it's down to her it's her baby. May I add that we fell out a while ago as she wasn't bothering with me ect any way we made up and I asked her be part of the wedding again so she could have said then I can but il have a baby then, but she didn't she just said it will be fine il sort out. So stressed ?
