I can't sleep just think that on Sunday I will be 20. But that not the reason the reason is because…

I can't sleep just think that on Sunday I will be 20. But that not the reason the reason is because my grandpa passed away in October 2015 when I was at the end of my eight month of pregnancy so I couldn't go to his funeral in Mexico. This will be the first birthday that I don't get a call from him wish me a happy birthday. Also the reason is because I left my family when I found out I was pregnant because I know they would make me do something I didn't want to do to my baby. This birthday is going to be a hard one with out my family for the first time. I hope that by going to the beach on my birthday will help me for get all this.