I need help. I cant do this.. I need guidance. Im 20 and 6 months pregnant, my fsther died august 28…

I need help. I cant do this.. I need guidance. Im 20 and 6 months pregnant, my fsther died august 28 before I found out he would be a grandfather, I had to see his pale face in the hospital.. watched him at his viewing all day hoping he would wake.. watched him be buried later that day.. rushed a wedding withing a month and a half to marry the man who so easily betrayed me three times in 2 years because the army transferred us to tennessee, left my widowed mother behind because I now have a family.. and I cant do it. how can I take care of my baby?! I cant even hold myself together and take care of myself. I screwed up and because of that this child is going to have a horrible mother.. I hate myself. I cant do it..