I have an 8yr old but before him I had a stillbirth; my daughter, it's been 9yrs and trust me things don't get better just easier (time has shown me that) fast forward to now I am married expecting my first baby with my husband... but my sons pregnancy was not easy! I was stressed, the anxiety of losing him was hard. This pregnancy is no different. I can't get excited for fear of losing the baby, i can't go pee without thinking 'is this it? will i see blood?' every doctors appt i think what if i hear those words that still resonate in my head 'there is no heartbeat' but what bothers me the most is his family doesn't get it!!! they are over the moon and i get it, it's his first child but dammit respect the fact that if i want to keep in the down low for now you need to respect that! next thing i know i have extended family texting congrats! they are sending pictures of cribs and strollers, planning a baby shower! STOP!!! i want to yell and scream!! his sister giving me deadlines by March you should know the sex i need to know the sex for this and that.. and i want to yell 'listen let me get to March first!!' they think i am exaggerating but unless you gave birth to your dead child there is no way you will understand... they only build on my anxiety and i just don't know how to make them slow down.... sorry; end of rant😭😭😭