am i being over dramatic?? PLEASE READ!!! So my bf constantly accuses me of doing things to him or…
am i being over dramatic?? PLEASE READ!!! So my bf constantly accuses me of doing things to him or suspecting stuff which idk for what reason because I've never done anything to him. I personally think its just a guilty conscious...anyways yesterday he goes through my phone which idc, so i go through his. His fb is linked to his email so any type of notifications he gets go to his email, well while going through the email I saw that he must have messaged some girl and so she replied with something meaningless but mind you I couldn't see the whole convo, since he deleted it. All I know is the convo was pretty short. So i asked him what he said and he apparently doesntt remember... I was like LOL. He said he deleted it because I would have gotten mad at the fact that he was talking to her. He then says thats its some lesbian girl he makes sure to emphasize "lesbian". Which I already knew because I am the best investigator... ANYWAYS He knows this girl because when him and his ex wife had a house together, they rented the studio they made next door to this girl and her girlfriend.. The reason I was mad was because first of all why would you even have her as a friend, secondly why would you even have to talk to her you know? Like what would yoy even conversate about?? Honestly I wouldn't have cared if it had been some friend he once was friends with or whatever but at the fact of HOW they know each other and the time period they know each other is what irritates me... That just makes me think that like he is always trying to keep the past into his present. We've been dating for a year and a half now so some time has passed, we also have a baby as well. I don't understand what he would have in common with that girl. He has also had many gf's before me that wasent his ex wife. So he must have known her awhile ago.... At the same time tho, he gets mad at me when I talk to my old hometown friends because apparently they would bring my ex bf to me or try to have him get in contact to try to talk to me blah blah blah... Which again makes no sense because he has never caught me talking to my friends about my ex. They nor I, have ever mentioned my ex in any type of convo's that would have evidence because thats disrespectful and I could care less about what my ex is doing?? Ive been over it for a couple of years now.. Especially at the fact that I dont even live in the same state as my ex.. Point of the matter is that anytime I confront him about sketchy stuff like this he tries to turn it out on me when I have done
nothing. So all this is just ringing GUILTY , GUILTY, GUILTY in my eyes. What do you guys think??
missing176user·
It sounds like a guilty conscious thing to me, since he was clearly speaking to someone else; then you must be as well.
Maya·
Мама дочки-младенца
a relationship without trust isn't a healthy relationship...I hope you guys can overcome this and trust each other again
Krystale·
Мама дочки-младенца
the fact that he had to delete a message bc he knew you would get mad sounds like he knew he was doing something or saying something to this girl that you may not like. the fact that she's a lesbian shouldn't bother you, unless you feel like shes a threat? I think it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex, but also know your boundaries with them. And if it makes you uncomfortable he needs to respect that. and vise versa. Now telling him who to be friends with isn't a good idea either,bc you wouldn't want him doing that to you. plus that usually gets em mad, and they will just befriend and talk to whoever to get you upset. if your friends are bringing to the past and trying to get your ex involved in your life,you need to tell them to stop bc it's disrespectful to you and your bf. if they don't listen then maybe they aren't good friends and you need to cut ties with them until they can respect your whishes. I'm sure you know communication is key in any relationship. so instead of getting mad at things and thinking how you don't like what he's doing, try sitting and having a conversation with him. don't play the blame game. either of you. tell how what he does makes you feel,listen to how he feels,and find a compromise and work it out. if he refuses to talk about it because "it's no big deal to him" then that's a clear sign, to me anyways, that he's doing something he probably shouldn't. phew! that was long! lol I hope this made sense! feel free to msg me if you ever want to talk! I've been with a guy who would turn things around on me and try to make me feel over nothing, it's no fun and that relationship didn't work out,for other reasons though. lol
Jackie B·
Мама сына-младенца
@thesandersfamily, thats what I thought. Like if you knew I wouldn't be okay with it in the first place why do it at all??
Jackie B·
Мама сына-младенца
@suddymaya thats so true..
Jackie B·
Мама сына-младенца
@rosalinasmami, no no! I wouldn't tell him who he could and couldn't be friends with. I was just upset at the fact of who it was... and yeah no I was giving an example of what he "thinks" im doing which is dumb because I have really never gave him a reason for him to think that?? my friends wouldn't do that to me or him. Hes just the type of guy who trys to blame you for everything. The sad part is that we have talked about it but nothing ever changes.. We have always had problems because of his actions or people in his life that have tried meddling in our relationship and im tired of it. No one on my part as ever tried telling him something about me or done something sketchy to him. but im always the bad guy.
Krystale·
Мама дочки-младенца
@jackieelovee22 ahhh ok! my bad! lol well I'm sorry to hear that nothing seems to change with him and his attitude. I would say for now, leave the girl out the picture, as much as you don't like him talking to her, leave it alone for now. See how it goes if you don't let it bother you. If you still have this un easy feeling in your gut, trust your instincts. I'm not saying to leave him but you guys need to do something to work it out. if he's not willing to try then it's never going to work. it takes TWO to make the relationship. I know you have a baby together and that may make things harder on the decision,but you need to be in a trusting relationship, and you need to be happy. I really hope something works out for you both.
kiwii·
Мама сына-младенца
so wait, your not mad he was talking to a girl or deleted a message your mad because he's talking to a girl he met while he was married??
Jackie B·
Мама сына-младенца
@kiwii, im upset by both. its not like this girl was a good friend you know? so like what and why would he talk to her about does that make sense.
kiwii·
Мама сына-младенца
I would be most upset about him deleting messages because he didn't want you seeing them knowing you would be mad. I feel that is very disrespectful, if he knows it would upset you, he shouldnt do it because he loves and respects you. that would be the thing that made me mad then I would be worried about the girl because whatever they were talking about was deleted.