This is a photo I would normally never be comfortable sharing because I am a big girl. I am 29 weeks & 1 day with the…

This is a photo I would normally never be comfortable sharing because I am a big girl. I am 29 weeks & 1 day with the final addition to my family. This is pregnancy #6 for me. I thought my life ended when I lost my first baby at 11 weeks having never known I was pregnant and Domestic Violence took them from me. I've carried to full term with a little girl who was born not breathing for the first 2 minutes of her life, when she began to finally cry.. My life finally began. I've carried a little girl 7.5 months and struggled being sick the whole time, I found strength when I brought a fighter into the world, 6 weeks early and only 2 weeks in the NICU. When my addictions took over my life because I didn't know how to manage things, I lost my world. Today, I am clean and have been since November 1, 2013. January 2014, I learned I was going to be a mom again and had such internal struggles because of feeling I was a failure as a mom to my girls, I decided adoption for my baby because I didn't think I could raise them alone without the father in my life.. I lost the baby in March. Strange thinks can happen and bring your life to a clearing sense, my fiance and I made it through the storm and I became pregnant in July 2014 with my rainbow baby boy, when he was born he had a knot in his umbilical cord aka a true knot, I was informed that at anytime if it had been pulled any tighter, I could have lost him. He is now 9 mths old and the light of our life. He has taught me a lot of things I never learned with my girls while in active addiction, he taught me to never take a moment for granted. Here in 9 or so weeks, his father and I will be welcoming another little one into the world. I know this is long and if you've read it in its entirety, I hope you have learned that anyone can make it through hard times and come out stronger. I made decisions for my 6 yr old and 4 yr old girls to live with their dad because I didn't think I could be a mom, that's a regret I'll live with everyday and I'll forever remain looked at in the stereotype way. This is my life, my actions, my choices.. All that were made and brought me to where I am.