since everyone is doing it lol... l&d story: i was watching Breaking Bad with my mom & my sister Emily. for those of you…

since everyone is doing it lol...

l&d story:

i was watching Breaking Bad with my mom & my sister Emily. for those of you who haven't seen it, shit. gets. CRAZY. i was so into the show, i started getting angry with the main character Mr White. then i felt this horrific pain in my stomach, it literally took my breath away! my mom & sister were just staring with eyes wide open. i said "what the hell man!" my sister started getting excited, & told me to count how far apart the next one would be. they started coming every 5 minutes for two hours. i was freaking out. it was more than a month too early for her to come. i started having an anxiety attack, which made the contractions come even quicker, & harder. it was 2 a.m. & i was pulling up to the ER trying to get ahold of my boyfriend & also trying to not puke! when i got into the room at l&d they said if I don't dilate, i would be sent home.

although the contractions were close, they couldn't induce me because i wasn't 39 weeks. i was sent home at 4 a.m.

these contractions went on for about a week. i was at school when they really started hitting me, my teacher was sitting next to me & asked if i was okay, she could see me trying to catch my breath every two seconds. she said "hun i think you're in labor!" without thinking about it, i was extremely frustrated & i turned to her saying "woman i AM in labor!!! & it hurts!!!! but i can't get induced!!!!" she told me to call my doctor immediately, but i told her there was no point, i had an appointment the next day. but that night i ended up back in labor & delivery because i felt my cervix was opening, i swear i thought my daughter was going to fall out! but of course, i wasn't dilating, & i was sent home again. the next day at my appointment, i gave a urine sample like at every other appointment. i was sitting on the bed thingy & said to my sister "i have a really bad feeling dude... something is telling me i need to have October... i'm worried, what if i lose her? god i hope they tell me i need to be induced." she told me "no worries. just chill." so i did. i calmed down, but my anxiety was a little overwhelming. the nurse came in to check the urine sample, & she freaked out. she literally yells "oh my gosh, your protein levels are extremely high! i need to check your blood pressure NOW." she was scaring me. i didn't know what the hell was going on at this point. 150/110. the nurse ran out of the room to get my doctor, my doctor says as she walks in "you checked both arms & both were that high?" i turned to my doctor & said "what's wrong with my blood pressure? I've been having anxiety attacks on & off... couldn't that be a factor?" she was checking my blood pressure again & said "anxiety shouldn't boost your blood pressure that high sweetie. this is preeclampsia." what the shit is preeclampsia. i took child development, i don't remember anything about preeclampsia. & why is it so bad... my doctor in a very stern voice says "i am diagnosing you with preeclampsia. you're having that baby as soon as possible. we're going to induce you at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning. preeclampsia can cause the baby to be stillborn, I'd rather have her in NICU for a few days rather than you lose her."

i didn't ask any questions. we walked down to l&d back to the same room. my sister left to get some thing including my boyfriend.

my mom is a truck driver in Pecos, which is about three hours away from where i live. she works nights, when we called her she was already at work so she got to the hospital around midnight i think. i went thru the night trying to breathe thru my contractions while my boyfriend rubbed my back, & massaged my head to calm me down. they put me on magnesium to keep me from having a seizure & to bring down my blood pressure. they broke my water around 12 in the afternoon, & holy shit were those contractions hell! they came in with the epidural not too long after, but i had to get it done twice. i was still feeling pain. my boyfriend held me so i wouldn't freak out. eventually, i couldn't feel my legs, but i felt the contractions. it was almost a failed epidural. when my doctor told me its time to start pushing, all i could think was "just get her OUT"... i was so drugged up & exhausted, i was falling asleep between contractions! i nearly passed out at one point so they had to give me oxygen. i kept fading in & out. i could barely hear anyone, & all i could see was a bright light in my face. i thought i was dying. i heard my doctor saying something about October facing the wrong way & that it makes delivery very difficult. "seriously dude..." was the only thing that came to mind. i started giving up. i was pushing for an hour. but then i got mad, they kept telling me "one more push!!" but she still wasn't out. i shoved her big head out & i felt it. it HURT. but i was too exhausted to even pay attention to the pain. i just wanted to hold my daughter. she was purple lol, she was beautiful. my boyfriend kissed me on the forehead & said "you did it"

i started crying. especially when they took October away to NICU because she had fluid in her lungs & the magnesium was also affecting her. i layed there for the longest time while they stitched me up. third degree laceration. & all i could think about was holding, nursing my daughter.